How does fear affect labour and birth? What tools and techniques can a couple use to help a woman to feel calm, safe and undisturbed when she has felt fear during her labour?
It is natural to feel some fear in the lead up to and during birth. There are so many different strategies that can be looked to (if needed) to help minimise the fear and keep you feeling calm, safe, and undisturbed.
Where does the fear come from?
There are many reasons we might fear birth. We’ve been subconsciously conditioned through movies and media that birth is dangerous and something to be scared of. We often hear the horrors of childbirth or negative stories of others experiences, or from our own previous experiences. We may be fearful of interventions that can be used to help us birth our babies, or of the chance of an unplanned caesarean. We might just be scared of the unknown – what will labour feel like? How will I handle contractions? Is my pain tolerance going to be enough?
This list doesn’t even scratch the surface of reasons we might feel fear around birth, and I want to acknowledge all fears as valid.
Less often do we hear about how epic and empowering birth can be. Birth can make us feel like a superhuman and on top of the world. Believe me that this IS possible! And there are ways you can set yourself up to minimise your fears around birth.
How does fear affect your labour and birth?
When we feel stressed, anxious, angry, or fearful during labour and birth our body creates a mixture of hormones called catecholamines (such as adrenaline and noradrenaline). While these hormones DO have a place during birth to help us push our babies out, they are NOT useful during “early” or “active” labour. This is the time we want our mind and body to be relaxed and calm to help our cervix efface and dilate. When these hormones are produced before they are needed, it can cause labour to slow or stall.
Fear – Tension – Pain
To put it simply, when we are in labour: if we feel fear, we create tension. When tension is present, we feel more pain. When we feel more pain, we feel more fear. It is a vicious cycle, and it can be really difficult to break.
Pain
We all experience pain. Not just in birth, but pain in general is unavoidable. Everyone will perceive pain differently to others and labour and birth are no exception. Some mothers will describe their birth as totally pain free while others will describe it as the highest level of pain they have ever felt. It all comes down to our perception of pain.
Calm, Safe, and Undisturbed
These feelings are very supportive to physiological birth. The thing is – these can look vastly different to different people. There is no one way of how this has to look or what you might need. I am a huge fan of doing what is right FOR YOU as you are the only one that knows best.
Undisturbed – I think this is one of my favourites. Undisturbed can mean absolutely anything that helps you feel in your labour zone and uninterrupted. You may like having your partner or care providers close to you while being hands off. Not having anyone touching you, minimal or no examinations (internal or external). It could be being in a room with your partner, separate to any care providers. Or it could be you wanting to be in a room completely on your own, with your care provider/partner/support people just on the other side of the door – leaving you to your labour zone, allowing your body and baby to do the work they need to do – knowing support is close by. Or “undisturbed” to you could look very different altogether.
Safe – safety is huge. This is where you could consider where do you feel safest giving birth? Is this in hospital or at home? Which care provider, if any, do you feel safest with? Who are your support people? Will they help you to feel safe and relaxed? Or will they create vibes (even if unintentional) that will make you feel tense or uncomfortable? Or will these people present project their own fears onto you? Or do they trust in you and your ability completely? When you are in an environment you feel safe in, with people that help you release any doubts and fears, it can go a long way in helping you to relax and let go.
Calm – What helps you feel calm? What fears do you need to acknowledge or release? What do you want your birth environment to look like? (For example, lighting, music/meditations, who will be there). Do you want to use water for pain relief? Do you have any essential oils or smells that help you relax? Is there anything you want to bring from home such as a blanket or dressing gown to help you feel more comfortable?
Ways you can reduce fear
Education – childbirth education is a great way to prepare you during pregnancy. There are so many classes to choose from with options of face-to-face or online. They will often cover birth physiology, what your options are (interventions, pain relief – both medical and non-medical, and different comfort measures). There are also many other educational resources out there such as books, podcasts, videos, documentaries, websites, articles, and research papers. Generally, the more we know the less we fear. Knowledge is power. Acknowledge fear as it comes up and lean on your care providers and support people.
Comfort measures – know your different options in advance. You might choose to use all or none of your options. Often, we already have everything we need inside ourselves, but in case you want more options – first we need to know about them. There is a wide range of non-medical pain relief options that can help to make you feel more comfortable. These can include TENS machine, rebozo, birth combs, acupressure, breathing, meditating, different positions for labouring. And then there are the medical pain relief options if you find you want or need them.
Reassurance – reassure yourself that you are safe and protected. A really easy way to reassure yourself can be through positive affirmations. You can repeat these to yourself in your head or speak them aloud. You can have them written down to glance at as you need.
Here are 5 affirmations to get you started:
- I am safe.
- My body will grow the perfect size baby for my body.
- Each surge brings me closer to my baby.
- I can do anything for 1 minute.
- I trust in myself and my ability to birth my baby.
Pick out affirmations that resonate with you and use them.
Reframe – reframe your mindset. This can be done with the language we use. This can help us reframe from a word that might be associated with a negative thought or feeling into something more positive. For example, changing the word “pain” into something like “sensation”. Turning “contraction” into “surge”.
How can your partner or other support people help?
Discuss their roles in advance – this will help them (and you) to feel confident in how you want to be supported. Discuss your birth plan and how you would like to be advocated for.
Physical touch – while not everyone will want to be touched during labour, some will like some gentle massages, a hand on the shoulder, a hand to hold, a hug, or to be held.
Offer – offering (instead of asking) any sips of water, other drinks, ice, or pieces of food. It is important to offer instead of asking to help keep the labouring mother in the labour zone and keeping her out of her thinking brain as much as possible.
Reassure – reassure her that she can do it. Reassure her that she has your support. Repeat positive affirmations to her if that’s what she wants.
Get creative. Find what works for you. As with all things in birth there is no right or wrong, only what feels good for you.
There are so many different ways we can help to reduce the feelings of fear. It can be really tough once those feelings creep in during labour and birth especially because it is already such a monumental and vulnerable time. With awareness, education, and support under your belt, you can overcome anything you need to. I truly believe it is so valuable equipping yourself with the knowledge during pregnancy so you are already familiar with the tools and strategies you have available to you, should you need or want to use them and surrounding yourself with people you trust and feel safe around.
My name is Elise Debenham, and I am a qualified doula who has trained at the Doula Training Academy. I am based in Tweed Heads and service the Northern Rivers and Gold Coast areas (Lismore to Southport).
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