Why Postnatal Recovery Matters – By Sophie Messager
Book Review by Perth doula Aimee Duckworth.
A baby is born.
While the new mother was pregnant, she was the center of attention. Now she is elbowed out of the way of visitors who just want to hold her baby.
Visitors mean she misses out on naps, and they expect her to entertain them, leaving her with a messy house and a cranky baby. Nobody asks her how she feels. With no previous experience of babies, and no family nearby, she feels lost and worries whether she is doing things right.
Her partner returns to work after two short weeks. She struggles to meet her baby’s needs, and her own. Nobody helps with the chores or the cooking. She receives a lot of gifts, but they are all for the baby. She is exhausted by the broken nights, and longs for a much-needed nap, or some baby-free time.
Her days are a blur of feeding and baby care. Her social network has disappeared, as her friends are all working 9 to 5 jobs. She feels isolated and lonely. She longs for adult company. She feels guilty that she isn’t enjoying every moment. She struggles to make sense of this new experience. She hides her feelings and pretends everything is okay.
Everybody gives her conflicting advice and undermines her instincts. Nobody takes care of her body, and there is immense pressure to ‘go back to normal’ both physically and socially. By the time a month has passed, she is exhausted, uncertain about her mothering skills and still in fresh postpartum state physically and emotionally.
Sophie really makes you stop and think about her opening paragraph and how western society often focuses on the baby and tend to overlook the mother and her needs glorifying the expectation of her to just bounce back after birth.
I bought this book late one night scrolling on amazon for birthy books.
The title “Why Postnatal Recovery Matters” really stood out to me as I had a really challenging postnatal recovery with my first daughter.
‘Why Postnatal Recovery Matters’ was delivered shortly after, and I started reading. As I flicked through the pages, I could feel the words written deep in my heart and resonate with many of these passages written by real women sharing their own personal experiences.
The book focuses on four simple aspects:
- Rest
- Nutrition
- Social Support
- Body work
As we go through each aspect the book digs deeper into how you can plan for these during your postnatal recovery. We hear the many experiences of different women all over the world as their stories are weaved throughout the book, along with Sophie’s personal stories and wisdom from years of experience being a doula herself.
Rest – During this aspect we explore building in some rest time before you birth your baby. It also lists a variety of suggestions you can add into your postpartum plan to ensure you are getting enough comfort and rest after birth.
Nutrition – Sophie touches on the importance of nutrition and how traditional wisdom has always acknowledged this with cultural practices across the globe including wholesome recipes to nourish new mothers with a big focus on those warm and nourishing foods and recipes.
Social Support – We don’t have to do it all alone, we were never meant to – Brene Brown. By understanding how to create a supportive network within your own personal community of family, friends, or acquaintances you are then only welcoming the people you want and need into your healing circle during such a precious time in your life.
Body Work –Any type of loving touch releases feel good hormones like oxytocin. Traditional postpartum wisdom focuses on binding, massage and manipulations designed to help the healing process and how to get support for your body after birth.
As we reach the end of the book Sophie touches on hiring help such as a postpartum Doula and we hear from many women on how that was beneficial for their postpartum healing, family life and had a huge positive impact on their mental health and wellbeing.
Finally, Sophie wraps up all the information learned and has a summary of how you can write your own nurturing and supportive postnatal recovery plan. During caring for a little human and all the other people in your life it’s important not to lose track of your own self-care. Self-care is an important part of your mental health and can help you manage stress, lower risks of illness and increase energy. Self-care can be something as small as ensuring you are getting enough quality sleep and rest, eating healthy regular meals, staying hydrated, putting a face mask on, lighting a candle and having a herbal bath. These things can sometimes be easier said than done which is why it is important that you always prioritise you and your self-care and you can do this by having a supportive postnatal network.
I will be recommending this book to all new mothers and mothers to be again looking to ensure they have a nurturing, supportive and loving postpartum recovery. It is okay to take each day as it comes and to ask for the help when needed because when a mother is respected, loved, and nurtured, she and her whole family will benefit.
My name is Aimee Duckworth, and I am a doula based in Perth, Western Australia who has completed extensive training at The Doula Training Academy. If you would like more information about my doula services, please contact me:
Email:
[email protected]