How To Heal A Bad Birth – Making Sense, Making Peace & Moving On
By Melissa Brujin and Debby Gould
Founders of www.Birthtalk.org
Book Review by Student Doula Sarah Armstrong
Birth trauma plays such a crucial role in how we perceive ourselves as parents long after the Birth.
It affects how we bond with our children, our coping skills and confidence in parenting, and veers into so many different aspects within our life and relationships.
This book has a step by step process of working to identify and heal birth trauma.
It is imperative that we understand that all “bad births” might not look or sound like a traumatic experience. It may not involve caesarean, premature babies in incubators, an instrumental birth or a long drawn out labour.
A traumatic birth is dependent on how the mother felt approaching, during and after the birth.
Just as a mother can experience a lengthy, complicated birth, emergency caesarean or have a premature baby cared for in an incubator but feel supported, heard and in control of the situation and not perceive her experience as traumatic.
It is so important that we do not compare ourselves or our birth experience.
Instead to hear one another and feel empowered by our similarities, strengths and resilience.
A lack of support, a lack of feeling heard, a lack of effective communication, and a lack of feeling in control are some key elements that often lead to this; But again, it is important to understand that no birth is the same or should be compared.
If you feel that your birth experience was traumatic, this book allows you to breakdown where this triggers from and supports you to start the healing process.
For health professionals or caring family members or friends this book can enable you to support someone to start their own healing journey.
Melissa and Debby are extremely passionate midwives and doulas who have worked together to create Birth talk, Which provides mothers dealing with Birth trauma and post natal depression a safe place to open up and be heard
Melissa herself has worked through her birth trauma and with her own personal experience she passionately wants to support other mothers.
Through Birth Talk, Melissa and Debby have been able to change the lives of many mothers and fathers. They have worked together to create this resource to support and guide those who are unable to attend their classes, and live far and wide with this easily to understand, well thought out book.
The book is written in sections for busy parents who do not have the time to read the book from page to page.
The book guides you from the very first couple of pages in the “How to use this book” section it has been designed to be a compass of healing and also provides you with tools and resources to help you along your healing journey.
Each chapter contains key elements to guide your healing and are repeated throughout the book so that whichever section you skip ahead to, there are correlating themes that are suggested to you surrounding similar or connecting issues and providing more resources and opportunities to work through emotional and mental trauma and heal.
I strongly recommend this book to Doulas, care givers, mothers and fathers.
If you know someone and believe that they could use help to work towards healing from their pregnancy or birth, this book would be a terrific start.
I personally used the suggestions and tools within this book to face and overcome some emotional trauma that I did not believe I would ever be able to reflect and work through, let alone write them down and express them.
Melissa and Debby have been able to combine a variety of personal stories from different mothers and fathers to bring heart and connection into the book.
A level of empathising with others and feeling seen and heard is an important factor in beginning to heal. Sometimes understanding that you are not alone and knowing that others have managed to work through their own issues and come out on the other side can be an extreme source of power.
Knowing and believing that it is possible; Followed by being provided with the resources, exercises and tools to combat these traumas and emotions creates a source that can truly be effective.
Knowledge is power, and this book can provide you with the power and knowledge needed to truly heal.
My name is Sarah Armstrong I am a student Doula who has studied with Vicki Hobbs at The Doula Training Academy.
If you would like to know more about my Doula Services please contact me:
EMAIL: [email protected]