Doulas: She is the author while you’re just helping her hold the book
“As a doula you are the binding that is holding the book together, while working through each chapter with her, but she is the one turning the pages over and becoming invested in the story, her story, and not handing the book to anyone else – she is owning her book, owning her story, and owning her power.” – Vicki Hobbs
When we talk about what a doula really does, we often speak in practical terms: physical support, emotional presence, evidence-based education, advocacy. But underneath all of that is something far deeper and more meaningful, something that often goes unspoken.
A doula is not the author of a woman’s birth story.
We’re not even the editor.
We’re the binding that keeps the pages from falling apart when things get intense.
We’re the calm presence in the margins, helping her stay focused as she writes the next sentence.
We don’t take the pen.
We don’t rewrite her chapters.
We certainly don’t dictate how the plot should unfold.
That’s not our role. That’s not what she needs.
Support, not steering
The medical system often falls into a pattern of directing birth rather than supporting it. Timelines are imposed. Decisions are made swiftly, often without truly involving the woman in meaningful discussion. In a system focused on policies and procedures, it’s easy for women to feel like passengers in a vehicle they’re not driving.
This is where doulas make a difference.
We walk beside her, offering education so she understands her options. We listen, without judgement, as she expresses her fears and desires. We validate her experience when she feels unheard. We remind her that this is her story – not one that belongs to a hospital, an obstetrician, to me or anyone else.
Holding space, not holding control
Being a doula means showing up with open hands and an open heart. It means tuning in to what a woman needs – not what we think she should do. It means being grounded enough to support her choices, even when they look different from our own.
Yes, we may offer suggestions, tools, and techniques. We may encourage and gently guide when asked. But we don’t take over. We don’t push. We don’t preach.
Because the most powerful thing a woman can feel in birth is not that someone else knows what’s best for her, but that she knows what’s best for herself.
She is owning her book
There is something incredibly sacred about witnessing a woman step fully into her experience – whether she roars through transition, breathes through each surge, or quietly navigates a change of plans. Whatever her path looks like, when she knows she is the one making the decisions, the story transforms.
That is where healing happens.
That is where confidence grows.
That is how we begin to reclaim birth – not through control, but through connection.
So, to every doula out there:
Keep being the binding.
Keep holding space.
Keep reminding her that the story is hers to write.
She doesn’t need to be rescued.
She just needs to be reminded that she was always the author.
Vicki Hobbs
Doula Training Academy Australia
Back to Basics Birthing