Imposter syndrome in doulas, what it is and how to work through it

Imposter syndrome in doulas, what it is and how to work through it

Imposter syndrome comes up a lot in the doula space. Quietly, consistently, and often just as a woman is about to step into her role more fully.

It doesn’t matter how much training she’s done, how many births she’s attended, or how capable she actually is, there’s that internal voice that says, “Who am I to be doing this?”

If you’ve felt that, you’re not alone, and more importantly, it doesn’t mean you’re not ready.

Let me tell you a little secret, I get it too, all the time.

After more than two decades in this space, supporting women, teaching, running trainings, speaking at conferences, there are still moments where that little voice creeps in. The “who do you think you are” voice. The one that questions whether I should be saying something, teaching something, or putting myself out there “as an expert.”

It doesn’t go away just because you’ve been doing this work for years. It just gets quieter when you learn not to give it the final say.

What’s changed for me isn’t that the thoughts disappeared, it’s that I don’t let them dictate what I do anymore. I recognise it for what it is, a protective mechanism trying to keep me safe, and I move forward anyway.

Because here’s the truth, if we all waited until we felt completely confident before stepping into this work, there would be a lot of women labouring without the support they need.

So if you’re feeling it, don’t take it as a sign to stop. Take it as a sign that you’re stepping into something that matters, and you really do make a difference.

What is imposter syndrome

Imposter syndrome is the persistent belief that you’re not as competent as others think you are, and that at some point you’ll be “found out”.

It’s not about a lack of skill; it’s about a lack of internal acknowledgement of your skill.

For doulas, this often shows up as:

Doubting your knowledge, even when you’ve studied and trained
Feeling like you need “just one more course” before you’re ready
Comparing yourself to more experienced doulas and feeling behind
Holding back from putting yourself out there
Over-preparing or over-delivering to prove your worth
Feeling like you got “lucky” when things go well at a birth

None of this is about your capability. It’s about your perception of it.

How to recognise the patterns

Imposter syndrome isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s subtle and dressed up as “being responsible” or “wanting to do better”.

Look for patterns like:

You minimise your achievements, “it wasn’t a big deal”
You avoid opportunities because you don’t feel ready
You feel uncomfortable being seen as the “expert”
You seek constant validation from others before making decisions
You feel like you’re “playing the role” of a doula rather than being one

These patterns often become habits if they’re not recognised early.

Why this shows up in doulas

This work is deeply personal, and that’s part of why imposter syndrome can hit harder here.

A few reasons it’s common in this space:

1. You’re working with something that matters deeply

Birth is significant. There’s a natural weight that comes with supporting a woman through it. That responsibility can make you question yourself.

2. There’s no single “right way” to be a doula

Unlike clinical roles, there’s no strict checklist. That flexibility can feel freeing, but also uncertain.

3. Comparison is everywhere

Social media can make it look like everyone else has it figured out. They don’t, it’s all a smoke screen.

4. You care about doing it well

This is a big one. The very fact you’re questioning yourself often means you care about your role and your impact.

Let’s not over complicate things

Imposter syndrome doesn’t mean you’re not ready.

It means you’re stepping into growth.

If you waited until you felt completely confident before supporting women, you’d never start. Confidence doesn’t come first; it builds through doing.

Practical tools to work through it

This is where we move away from just “mindset” and into action.

1. Name it when it shows up

Instead of believing the thought, call it out.

“That’s imposter syndrome talking.”

This creates separation between you and the thought.

2. Get specific about your skills

Write down what you actually bring:

Your training
Your knowledge
Your lived experience
Your ability to listen, hold space, observe

Doulas often undervalue the non-clinical skills, yet these are exactly what women need.

3. Stop waiting to feel ready

You don’t build confidence by thinking about being a doula.

You build it by being one.

Start where you are. Support one woman well. Then another.

4. Reduce comparison

Be mindful of how much time you spend looking at other doulas online.

You are seeing a curated version of their work, not the doubts behind it.

5. Anchor into your role

You are not responsible for outcomes.

You are responsible for your presence, your support, your integrity, and staying within your scope.

That shift alone can take a lot of pressure off.

6. Debrief after births – even the good ones

Instead of focusing on what you “should have done”, ask:

What did I do well
Where did I support her effectively
What would I do differently next time

This turns experience into growth rather than self-criticism.

7. Stay connected to community

Isolation feeds imposter syndrome.

Being around other doulas who are honest about their own doubts normalises the experience.

The women you support are not looking for perfection.

They are looking for someone who is present, calm, informed, and respectful.

They are not analysing your every move wondering if you’re “qualified enough”. That’s your inner voice doing that.

Your role is not to be the most experienced person in the room.

Your role is to be a steady, grounded presence who supports a woman to navigate her birth in a way that feels right for her.

And that doesn’t require perfection.

It requires you to show up.

Bringing it all together

If imposter syndrome is coming up for you, it’s not a sign to stop.

It’s a sign you’re stepping into something that matters.

Acknowledge it, don’t let it run the show, and keep moving forward anyway.

Because the only way through it is through it.

And every birth you attend, every woman you support, builds the confidence you’re waiting to feel first.

All the best
Vicki

Helpful books and resources

If you want to go deeper into this, these are worth your time (I’ve just put links to the books via Booktopia, but you might be able to find the books cheaper somewhere else, just Google them):

The Imposter Cure by Jessamy Hibberd
Practical and grounded, focuses on changing patterns rather than just positive thinking.
CLICK HERE

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers
A classic, and very relevant to stepping into birth work despite the nerves.
CLICK HERE

The Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman
Looks at how confidence is built through action, not waiting.
CLICK HERE

Conquer Your Imposter by Alison Shamir
How to own your success, stop questioning your worth & recognise the value you bring – no more waiting for permission or downplaying your expertise.
CLICK HERE

Short Ted Talk Videos / Podcasts

How to deal with imposter syndrome by Denise Duffield-Thomas
The thing about imposter syndrome, especially in business, is that it feels so lonely. It feels real, and we often tell ourselves that no one else feels this way.
CLICK HERE

25 Best Imposter Syndrome Podcasts
A selection of podcasts all relating to “Imposter Syndrome”
CLICK HERE

How to turn imposter syndrome into your superpower by Louise Curtis
Louise shares some of her insights into impostor syndrome, and how, instead of letting it rule her life, she now sees it as a positive influence that makes her feel brave.
CLICK HERE

Brené Brown The power of vulnerability by Brené Brown
Not about imposter syndrome directly, but powerful for understanding courage and showing up.
CLICK HERE

Imposter Syndrome By Any Other Name, Is Bravery by Dr Catherine Harmon Toomer
Imposter Syndrome is a misnomer morphed from Imposter Phenomenon coined my sociologists to describe high achieving marginalized people who manoeuvre in spaces outside of their comfort zone.
CLICK HERE

Squashing Imposter Syndrome by Dr Kimberly Pesaturo
This talk will transform you as you are guided through the journey of rediscovering yourself and your creative passions.
CLICK HERE