How do you get your partner more involved

Throughout pregnancy, there is often a lot of information and various resources offered to women educating them on their options and choices. However, it is common for partners to be less involved in this process, leading partners to feel left out and disinterested. Ensuring partners are actively involved in supporting their partner before, during, and after childbirth is crucial for a positive experience for both parents.

Here are several strategies to encourage and facilitate partner involvement throughout pregnancy, birth and beyond:

Involve partners in the birth plan: Sitting down with your partner to create your birth plan will prepare them for what you expect of them during birth and allow them to feel involved in the process. Involving your partner in the birth plan will give them an understanding of how you would like your birth to go, and what your priorities are.

Advocating for you during labour: Following on from involving your partner in your birth plan, it is also very important that prior to birth you and your partner are having discussions surrounding the flexibility of your birth plan and what you will expect of them if your birth deviates from your original plan. No two women are the same, and the same labour strategies do not work for every woman so it is essential to be prepared for what may happen if this is the case. This means that if your birth does not go as planned, your partner has your back and will be able to take initiative and support you and your birthing preferences. You may need to change course and in this case, your partner should be informed to stand up for you to make the best and safest decision for yourself and your baby.

Bring your partner to prenatal classes and appointments: Encouraging your partner to attend prenatal classes with you will educate your partner on how you will feel throughout pregnancy and what to expect during the different stages of labour. If this is a new experience for a couple, it can be overwhelming for partners to understand how they be supportive and helpful during this time. Often, prenatal classes specifically address the role of the partner and how they can be supportive during this time.

Bringing your partner along to appointments will allow them to feel updated and informed with the pregnancy. It is also likely that by attending appointments, your partner will be less overwhelmed during labour as they are more in touch with what to expect because they have been present in multiple discussions surrounding birth prior to labour.

Provide your partner with resources tailored to them: Provide your partners with books, articles, and online resources tailored for expectant dads or partners. A few of my favourite resources specifically written for partners include:

Better Health Channel – Pregnancy support – fathers, partners and carers: This website offers information surrounding how to provide support for your partner during pregnancy, preparing for childbirth, adjusting to parenthood and looking after your relationship. Check out this resource here https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/servicesandsupport/pregnancy-support-fathers-partners-and-carers

Raising Children Network – Pregnancy for Partners: This resource offers helpful advice and information around a range of relevant topics such as premature birth and premature babies, what are antenatal classes and why they’re important and what to expect during a 12-week scan. Here is the link to check it out https://raisingchildren.net.au/pregnancy/pregnancy-for-partners

Gidget Foundation – Pregnancy for Partners & Non-Birth Parents: This website contains information surrounding some very important topics that are not spoken about often such as the challenges of a non-birth parent and LGBTQI+ facilities. Gidget Foundation also provides links to phone-based support services for urgent help.

Packing the hospital bag: Involving your partner in packing your hospital bag with you and discussing why you are bringing certain things and when you would like them during your labour will allow your partner to be actively involved in labour and feel more prepared. It is also a good idea for your partner to pack their own hospital bag, as it is possible that they will be staying in hospital overnight as well. A few key essential include a change of clothes, a toothbrush, toothpaste and deodorant, medications, a phone charger and snacks.

Ask the medical staff questions: Labour can be a busy, stressful, and overwhelming time for both the woman, staff and support person/persons. Although medical staff should explain what they are doing and why they are doing it, this is not always the case. More often than not, medical staff will be happy to answer any questions you may have. It is always okay to ask questions if you are unsure of a certain medical procedure, if there are any strategies your partner can use to become more comfortable during labour, or if you are wondering how labour is progressing. It is also possible that you will not be up to asking questions yourself during labour, so ensuring your partner is informed will foster a positive birthing experience and allow your partner to intervene if anything goes against your wishes.

Guidance around postpartum support: It is extremely important that your partner is educated around the postpartum period including how you may feel and ways in which they can support you. Educating your partner around skin-to-skin contact, feeding, nappy changing etc will allow you to tag-team and reduce the overwhelm for both parents. Discussing a new household chore arrangement is also a good idea. With a new baby it is likely that your free time and priorities have shifted, and your partner may need to take on extra responsibilities while you recover and adjust to life with a newborn.

Join a support group: Joining a support group together is a great communication tool which can also foster new relationships for both you and your partner. Support groups are a great way to connect with individuals going through similar experiences to you, to feel reassured that you are not alone, and learn valuable information to make the transition into newborn life a lot smoother.

Encourage communication: Life itself changes with a new member/member of the family, and although it is such an exciting and wonderful time – it is also common for this time to be overwhelming, busy and a difficult transition for some people. Ensuring that you are creating a safe space to discuss one another’s feelings and concerns surrounding birth and postpartum is crucial. Often during this period, things can go unnoticed. It is important to regularly acknowledging your partners efforts and actions to show them that they are appreciated.

I hope the above strategies have supported you in understanding how you may involve your partner in your pregnancy, birth and postpartum to ensure you feel supported during this time.