What to expect in the Fourth Trimester and the first 12 weeks after having baby is a very overwhelming experience for some parents and for your newborn as he/she has been in your womb for a long period of time. They are not aware of what is happening around them so they may be crying, fussy, sleepy, a lot of nappy changes, adjusting from day and night patterns and getting used to breast or bottle feeding, as that takes time and patience. They are learning to adjust to what’s outside the womb, while you are adjusting and learning what to do.
Newborn babies also love skin to skin contact and listening to your heartbeat as it reminds them of being in your womb. Take 10-20 minutes and relax, bond, connect with your newborn, as babies only cry when something is wrong or they are hungry as they do not understand what’s happening.
Even swaddling your baby helps as it makes them feel more secure, and it reminds them of the tight cosey womb they were living in for all those months, but there are a few guidelines on the proper ways to swaddle your baby.
- Never swaddle over your baby’s head or near his/hers face, and not tight across baby’s chest.
- Make sure your baby does not overheat and only swaddle with breathable / thin fabrics.
If you are wanting more information on how to swaddle your newborn click on the link below:
https://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/baby-care/baby-care-101/secrets-to-swaddling.aspx
You will also notice your baby sleeping a lot, which is completely normal in the early weeks, and there is no need to panic if baby sleeps for 3-4 hrs.
Some newborns might also have jaundice, which causes yellowing to the whites of the eyes and skin and is usually harmless and disappears after 1-2 weeks. You can also help reduce jaundice by placing baby in a bassinet or on a blanket near a window with sun or indirect sunlight. If your ever worried talk to you doctor or health nurse.
For the mother she can experience mental, physical, and hormonal changes where you feel upset like you’re not a good parent or crying for no reason, which is totally normal as your hormones (oestrogen and progesterone) levels are dropping dramatically. It could take 6 months postpartum for your hormones go back to normal.
If you’re ever feeling down or thinking you might be showing symptoms of postpartum depression like severe mood swings, withdrawing from family and friends, feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt, thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, you could speak to your partner, family or friends or even go to your doctor who may recommend antidepressant treatment or psychotherapy.
Even being around positive mindset women can help with depression as they are listening and giving you positive energy / thoughts that can help with your negative thinking, you might even try meditation / yoga to calm your soul, mind and body.
You could also experience cramping pain and discomfort after having a baby and that’s normal as it’s your uterus contracting back to its normal size, which can last 2-4 days but it takes 6 weeks to fully return to previous size. You can take pain killers to help with the pain but make sure they are safe for nursing mothers.
Your stomach will also be flabby and stretched so don’t be self-conscious as it will go back to normal so don’t worry. One thing I wasn’t told about after my first baby was diastasis recti, which is a separation of your stomach muscles that can cause lower back pain, weak abdominal muscles, difficulty lifting objects.
Diastasis recti is not a true hernia and does not usually require surgical repair. You may be given specific exercises from a Women’s Health Physio to strengthen the area and it will close up. I have also found that wearing a corset or belly band can help with diastasis recti while also supporting your back for comfort.
Here is a company that I have used to help me with diastasis recti and getting back into shape:
https://www.bellefit.com/pages/diastasis
Another area I would like to cover is Kegel exercises. You can do these exercises through pregnancy, even the day after baby is born. I was not told about it until I had my second child and after finding out how to do Kegels, I noticed a difference within three weeks.
So, what is the Kegel exercise?
It is strengthening your pelvic floor muscles and ligaments that support your bladder, uterus and other organs. It also controls the flow of urine, so do not be embarrassed if you laugh or jump and pee dribbles out, that is just an indication that you have weak pelvic floor muscles.
If you do not know where your pelvic floor muscles are, try to stop urination mid-stream – but don’t do this on a regular basis as it could cause an infection.
I have shared a video of how to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKl8ImI3OVE
I have also come across a few women talking about their husbands / partners after their newborn is born and how the relationship between the both of you change. You may experience more fighting, talking less, no sexual attraction towards each other and feeling moody etc.
Parenthood can change a relationship as you may not put your relationship first while you have a newborn to care for. Some men do not understand that, and they still want affection and attention, so make a plan to sit down together for 10-20 minutes when baby is asleep to talk and share time and let him know how you are feeling, and listen to how he is feeling.
Remember this is not only a new life changing chapter for you but for your partner as well. And if it ever feels like it is going nowhere, but you want it to work between you both, go and see a couple’s counsellor.
The Fourth Trimester is such a big life changing experience and a lot of us do not know what to expect. Many wish they had known about what changes would occur, steps to take or what to expect once baby is born, and then making an effort to connect with your partner, as you do not know what’s going through their head.
I hope I have covered some important information regarding the Fourth Trimester and hope it will help you understand what can happen to you/baby and partner.
Take care, clear your mind of negativity, stay positive and love unconditionally.
My name is Bonnie Jensen, and I am an emerging Doula at the Doula Training Academy with Vicki Hobbs. If you would like to discuss your birthing options with me and find out how to achieve a birth that’s relaxing, confident, supporting and connected please feel free to contact me:
Business Name:
Mothers Calming Birth
Business Email:
[email protected]
Mobile:
0422 990 821
Website:
https://motherscalmingbirth.com